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If I am being honest, I struggled a little with publishing this one. The very title lets you know why I would feel a bit insecure: it is the first poem about anger I have ever written. Spoiler alert: Things have started to become personal!
Anger is the emotion I struggle the most, overall. I had a hard time even accepting I felt it because I was taught to be a “good girl” and anger does not agree with good girls. Actually, I would say that anger is only acceptable in men: if you’re a woman, chances are you are not allowed to be angry or are dismissed if you appear to be. To paint a picture, I remember being corrected if I used the word “hate”, instead I should say “don’t like”, that is how deep it goes.
Still, I think it is so important to talk about that. More important even, because no one does. I also purposely mentioned how old I was when I wrote this piece, to give the reader a sense of the time it takes to break free of your mind cells. Another aspect it is relevant to know about the process behind this poem is the notion that anger has never been wrong, despite of what I was taught to believe. And it should never be eliminated, but felt. Not acted on, felt. It hurts to say it took a lifetime to find that out. This is such a small piece – with so much to unpack.
You’ll notice that Anger is female again, like Frustration (from On Acknowledging Feelings). In Portuguese, my native language, nouns have “gender”, there is no word for “it”, so words are actually female or male nouns. Not by chance, the same goes for Guilt and Frustration.
A huge inspiration for this poem, dealing and accepting anger and this part of my life is P!nk’s “All I know so far” music video:
The first time I wrote about Anger
(I am 32 years old)
They told me to name my feelings
Well, her name is Fierce JUSTICE
And she has been right all along.